So today, I’m posting an apology letter that I wrote someone who is very dear to me.

Regardless of what happened between us, I accidentally let my ego get the last word. And for me that’s unacceptable. So here goes:

Dear Blank

Please read to the end, this is the apology you deserve, and I’ll be damned if the last thing I said to you was a lecture instead of a heartfelt apology.

Genuinely need to humble myself here.

I’m sorry. For a lot.

First, I’m sorry because I failed to trust you.

I failed to give you the space and time I told you I would, because I didn’t realize it, but I couldn’t handle the uncertainty of it. “I’m sorry. I’ll just never speak to you again until you speak to me, but know that I love you.” in retrospect sounds like I’m writing you off. And honestly maybe I subconsciously was preparing to be abandoned. And that’s not trust.

If I was in a more self-aware space I could’ve asked, “hey can we create rules around communication so we can be in contact? I’m not trying to go cold Turkey on one of my fav people” Or better yet, “can you define for me in the next couple of days how I should interact with you so that we can establish that I’m trying to respect your boundaries? I still don’t know which ones I’ve crossed based on our prior interactions, and because I’ve mostly had unconventional friendships, ours included, I don’t know what you deem appropriate for a friendship with me.”